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To Be A Conspiracy Theorist

Posted by Chad on September 11, 2005

Honestly, it’s gotta be one of the easiest jobs in the world. While at the memorial service this morning, the first thing I see is this group.

Splendid. The National Anthem is being sung in the background in preparation to honor those lost four years ago and these “free-thinkers”, standing feet away from victims’ families, are doing a two-part rendition of “God Bless America”. Their lack of musical talent notwithstanding, I found their display to be absolutely sickening.

My friends and hang around listening to family members read the names of their loved ones and then decide to take a break to have a few drinks at O’Hara’s with a large group of members from the NYFD and NYPD. We talk with a few of them and are shown pictures of past gatherings at the Irish bar. It’s a yearly event for them – every September 11th, they get together and drink from 10am till 6pm, remembering friends they’ve lost and cherishing those still here. I was struck at how personable and open they were. They truly deserve the title of New York’s Finest.

After a few, we split up to head home. I decided to walk back up to the World Trade Path station to see if my Friends of the Traveling Circus still had their camp set up. Fortunately, they had moved on. Unfortunately, this crowd had replaced them.

They were there to educate the public of the intentional demolition of the Twin Towers and WTC 7. I stood there for a little bit in awe that these people would choose this day at this location to hand out their “literature”. I then noticed a young guy half talking, half arguing with one of these conspiracy theorists. I’ll call him “Tillman” because that was the name on the back of the jersey he was wearing (most likely a tribute to the former Arizona Cardinal player Pat Tillman who was killed in Afghanistan).

While I only got bits and pieces of their back-and-forth, I was able to catch Tillman’s conversation ender – “You’re a fucking disgrace.”

I smiled. Couldn’t have said it better.

It takes a special kind of person to be a conspiracy theorist. Notably – extreme distrust in the government (especially when a Republican is in office), a complete lack of respect for others (I’m preaching the truth, I don’t care who died here), paranoia (everyone’s out to get me – even more so since I’m here speaking the “truth”), and an insane beard (if you’re a man) or bushy pits (if you’re a woman).

The best thing about it though is that no matter how much evidence exists – actual, tangible evidence – to refute and poke holes in your conspiracy, you have that fool-proof (never has a phrase been more appropriate) fall back….

“The government’s covered it up.”

Well golly gee.

Of course these people can’t prove that. How could they? The Government covered it up! That’s all you need to know.

That and the fact that the Bush administration hired people to sneak into both towers with enough exlposives to bring them down, secretly wire said explosives at key structural points when no one is around, get some planes, “erase” those said to be on them, fly them into the buildings, detonate the charges, then maybe bribe bin Laden (’cause he’s short on cash) to own up to the whole act and declare war on terrorism so we can go get us some oil.

A fucking disgrace indeed….


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