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Marguerite Perrin’s Top 10 Quotations From The Holy Bible

Posted by Chad on November 2, 2005

10. Be not overcome with evil fire-dancing drummers, but overcome evil fire-dancing drummers with good biscuits and gapped teeth. – Romans 12:21

9. Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. Fuck yeah! – John 16:33

8. Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things, including stomach stapling and lyposuction. – Ecclesiastes 10:19

7. When I was a motherfuckin’ child, I spake as a motherfuckin’ child, I understood as a motherfuckin’ child, I thought as a motherfuckin’ child; but when I became a man, I put away my Ken doll, for he had not proper plumbing. – 1 Corinthians 13:11

6. The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes that’s right bitches, to all who call on Him sincerely. – Psalm 145:18

5. And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give judgement than to receive.’ – Acts 20:35

4. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God in grilled cheese sandwiches and clouds and frozen dog poo. – Matthew 5:8

3. Where there is no vision, dark-sided psychics lurk. – Proverbs 29:18

2. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and lose his own soul? What would thouest do for a Klondike Bar? – Matthew 16:26

1. Love does not delight in hippies, or psychics, or all things dark-sided, but rejoices with shreiking, howling, spitting tantrums. – 1 Corinthians 13:6

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