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Bushitler 101

Posted by Chad on November 8, 2005

Okay class. It’s time to call “bullshit”. You on the left have been free to make your comparisons of Bush and Hitler long enough. It infuriated me at the first time I saw it. By the 37,422nd time they likened W to Adolf, I had become complacent in my reasoning of you guys just being, well… Democrats. But c’mon folks. Have you seriously discarded every last shred of history and fact, just so you can make one stupid, meaningless, and altogether pointless comparison? Is it time for a little refresher course? Sit down. Take out your pens and notebooks. There’ll be a pop quiz… sometime.

Hitler killed 6 million Jews. That’s not counting the gypsies. That’s not counting the homosexuals. That’s not counting the 4 kids in high school that tormented him about his inability to grow facial hair anywhere on his face but his upper lip.

Bush on the other hand, well… let’s see. According to you folk, he’s responsible for the deaths of all US soldiers. (After all, while he may not be over in Iraq personally pulling the trigger, he’s most certainly on the phone making calls to ensure these people die. Crazy sum’bitch won’t rest until the entire US military is dead and buried.) So that’s 2057 as of this posting. I’ll be nice and see it your way and also throw in the 97 British deaths and 103 other coalition casualties. That brings total Allied deaths to 2257. Of course we can’t forget that he’s also personally responsible for all Iraqi enemy and civilian deaths. I think, last I heard, the most generous offering of a total was somewhere around the 32,000 mark. So… we’re up to 34,257 people’s blood that President George W. Bush has on his hands.

Now it’s time for percentages….

Huh…. That’s odd. By my calculations, President Bush has killed only .0057% of the number of people that Hitler had.

That’s a pretty strong comparison to make, wouldn’t you say? Bush equals Hitler? Maybe if it was around 51% I’d give it to you just by virtue of rounding up. But even so, that’s 3 plus million dead. Got a long way to go before we hit that “grave milestone”.

But he stole the election!

He’s a tyrant just out for more power!

He hates my neighbor’s cat!

Guess what. I hate your fucking neighbor’s cat too. It shits along the fence and my dog goes and eats it and then licks my face with his kitty-shit tongue. Your cat can go die as far as I’m concerned. But here’s the good news. You can hate Bush. You can despise him with every fiber of your being. And you can tell the world about it. I have no problem with logical, rational dissent. But these half-assed, retarded, and childish comparisons have got to stop.

Use your brain. Be witty. Be smart. Who knows… you just might start winning elections again.

PS – Replacing the “S” in Bush with a swasitka is not to be considered a shining example of your creativity either. Put the pipe down before you start work on your next poster. I promise, you’ll be amazed at the results.

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