Cake Or Death?

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So Some Drunken Moose Stumble Into An Old Folks Home…

Posted by Chad on November 11, 2005

Stop me if you’ve heard this before.

A momma moose and her calf get wasted off of fermented apples, stumble into an old folks home and molest this elderly guy named Sven. Ok… so no molestation happened (God, could you imagine a getting a hoof-job from a drunk moose?), but this story does raise some concerns.

First of all, the mother is allowing her young calf to “drink”. Horrible example being set. I doubt we’ll be hearing anything from the PETA (after all, the calf was supervised), but personally, I don’t approve.

Secondly, they went back for more. I think this is proof that alcoholism is an inherited disease, regardless of species, and that all it takes is one sip. My heart goes out to the poor calf who, odds are, will never know the sober life.

And finally, the aggression factor. I’m sure we’ve all had experiences with “beer muscles”, but in this case, well… it’s a fucking moose. It doesn’t need any more muscles, beer or otherwise. I applaud the brave hunter and his dog for stepping in between a pair of lush moose and their sauce. Not something I would have the balls to do….

…. Unless I was drunk.

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