Cake Or Death?

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The 5 Quirks

Posted by Chad on December 29, 2005

My good friend Kath, who’s over In Training, did me the favor of “tagging” me for this Quirky-meme thing – a bit of a blogging chain letter type of deal. What with Christmas and all, I wasn’t able to get to it immediately, but since I’ve been back, I’ve had time to sit and analyze myself. Here are my top 5 quirks (although the list could go on and on).

5. At (almost) 28 years old, I still have this child-like fascination with the asparagus-pee phenomenon. It frightens and delights me at the same time. I’ve even gone so far as to try and record the amount of time the whole process takes – from ingestion to pungent urination – and then try and beat that record. At last check, it’s somewhere around the 22 minute mark.

4. My right leg is in a constant state of bounce when I’m seated. Not sure if that’s a quirk so much as it might be a tic. It’s probably due to some deep-seated subconscious anxiety that can only be cured through hypnosis and heavy drugs. But it’s good for annoying the guy sitting on the barstool next to me.

3. I’m anal rententive when it comes to buying books. No bent pages. No scuffed covers. No wrinkled spines. I take the dust jacket off hardbacks and place them on top of the shelf until I’m finished reading so it won’t get torn or made unseemly by repeatedly being put in and taken out of my man purse. (My mom once dropped my paperback copy of Michael Crichton’s Congo in the pool – it blew up to the size of 3 and a half War And Peace‘s – and I didn’t speak to her for a week.)

2. Whenever I’m reading anything to myself, my mouth is always moving. When I was younger, it used to be this full on speaking-with-no-words type of thing, like I was talking to the pages without actually vocalizing. Nowadays though, to the casual observer it just appears as though my lips are having a mild-to-moderate seizure. Everytime I realize I’m doing it, I make a concerted effort to stop, but I have to devote so much mental focus to the task that it would end up taking me in upwards of 45 minutes to finish a single page. Nevermind the risk of a brain aneurism.

1. Bon Jovi’s Livin’ On A Prayer is the only song that I will consistently butcher every time I hear it on the radio. For some reason, as a bass who longs to be able to sing along with the Gods of 80’s Rock, I have it in my head that if I can just nail that key change at the end (regardless of how ear-shatteringly awful it may sound) it will bring me one step closer to my goal of being able to get through Cinderella’s Don’t Know What Ya’ Got (Till It’s Gone).

So there ya’ have it. Like I said, I could go on. …. But I’m not gonna. And being that this is a quirk-meme, I’m obligated to tag five others to do it. They are as follows:
Ace of Spades (even though I know he won’t do it ’cause he doesn’t have time for this shit)
– Dave at Garfield Ridge (’cause I know he does have time for this shit but still probably won’t do it)
– Robbie at The Malcontent (’cause part of me tells me he likes this kind of shit)
V the K (’cause that guy writes some funny shit)
– and the other Cake Or Death (’cause it’s good to keep this shit in the family)

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