Cake Or Death?

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Archive for March, 2006

Moving…. Again

Posted by Chad on March 15, 2006

It’s true, the old saying.  “Don’t know what ya’ got, ’till it’s gone.”  There are things here at WordPress that I really digged.  But more others that I really didn’t.

So, I’m back at the old Blogger site (with a new look and a bigger picture for some reason.)

Sorry for being such a fickle little slut.  Won’t happen again.


Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

What Would The 9th U.S. Circuit Court Of Appeals Do?

Posted by Chad on March 15, 2006

Our friends in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the 2002 suspension of an Alaskan high school student who unfurled a banner proclaiming “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” in an attempt to get on television during the relay of the Olympic torch.

… the banner was protected speech because it did not disrupt school activity and was displayed off school grounds during a noncurricular activity.

Fair enough. Free speech and all that good stuff. I’ll look past the fact that the kid was talking about smoking pot (which, at last count, was illegal) for Jesus (a figure most people in this country care a bit about). It was after all just words. No actual harm done. So, for the first time in the history of ever, I actually tend to agree with the decision.

But, given the current climate of religious sensitivities, let’s play a little game of “what if” and then you, my dear reader, can postulate on whether our beloved court would’ve ruled the same. For this game, I need one illegal activity and one religious figure for a banner I will display during the groundbraking of the 9/11 memorial in an attempt to get on Fox 5 so I can shoot the shit with Ernie Anastos.

Hmmm…. How ’bout:

“Planes Into Tall Buildings 4 Allah”…. Maybe a bit too close to home.

“C4 In Baby Strollers 4 Mohammed”?

I don’t know… I’m not good with words. Or using numbers in place of words 2 save space.

Would the free speech thing still apply? I’m really not hurting anyone. I mean, at least with my banners, you can do some fact checking to see if they’re accurate. I don’t think we have any real way of knowing how many bowls JC toked on, if any.

Just sayin’.

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random, Satire | 2 Comments »

Kick-Ass Lightsaber Duel

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

Home-made.  And better than Episodes I and II combined.

Thanks to Ace for the chub.

Posted in Random | Leave a Comment »

Desperate Indeed

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

Can someone please explain this pairing to me?


No…. Not Nicollette’s fun-pillows. (I believe their existence is fully understood.) I’m talking about that cat standing next to her. The one that sang some songs back in the 90s which made middle-aged mothers throughout the country do things that are too disgusting for me to even think of, let alone type.

Fame apparently does effect the the psyche.

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random | 2 Comments »

March Madness

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

‘Tis the season folks.  The bracket for the men’s tourney came out yesterday and I spent the better portion of my Monday evening guessing, refining, second-guessing, and randomly pulling picks out of my ass.

Now, basketball and I have never been the best of friends.  Back in highschool, I was pulled aside by my gym teacher, Mr. Tubs, so he could instruct me one-on-one on how to execute a simple lay-up.  There’s the rest of the class, scrimmaging half-court as coordinated boys are wont to do, and there’s me at the other end of the gym working with the shorter, pudgier twin of Richard Dawson, trying in vain to get that damn ball through that shit net as gracefully as I fucking can. 

Scarred.  For.  Life.

To this day, I will not play the game.  Won’t even go for a friendly round of HORSE.

Yet for some reason, I feel justified in betting on an entire tournament.  I’m sure if I had a shrink, they’d tell me this is an attempt to overcome past demons.  Kinda’ like having someone put a boa constrictor around your neck to help you over your fear of snakes, only not as dramatic, with fewer screams of horror, and less pee-pee in the pants. 

Personally, I look at it as a win-win situation, as no one really expects the gay kid to “call it” anyway – no harm, no foul if my picks aren’t even in the vicinity of being correct.  However, if the planets align properly, and I manage to win the office pool, well… that’s shit-talkin’ rights for at least the next year.

So here are my two picks for the Championship Game (yeah, I bet twice):

– Kansas vs. UConn with Kansas winning.

– Duke vs. UConn with UConn winning.

…. Let the trash taking begin.


Posted in NCAA | 9 Comments »

Some People Have All The Luck

Posted by Chad on March 13, 2006

I get sewage in my basement.  This chick gets beer from her kitchen faucet.

It’s just not right….

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »

On Stereotypes

Posted by Chad on March 9, 2006

In the same vein as my previous post, I got to thinking….  Stereotypes are brought about and perpetuated by the majority of any said group of people.

I honestly do not believe that the majority of Muslims are “disproportionately prone to violence”.  Taking into account the entire population, the percentage of those willing to strap bombs to themselves or go off-roading in their SUVs has got to be quite low. 

What bothers is how the majority of the Muslim population seems content in allowing this stereotype of violence to continue.  Granted, every now and then you’ll get a condmenation of a bombing out of them, but that’s about it.

So why is it that such a small minority is being allowed run rampant with the image of those who practice Islam?  How is the majority letting such a small few negatively influence the world’s perception of Muslims? 

And more importantly…. why?

Posted in Religion Of Peace | 4 Comments »

Get OUT!! (ala Elaine Benes)

Posted by Chad on March 9, 2006

From the Book Of Redundant Redundancy (aka WaPo-ABCNews Poll):

…. a majority (of Americans) now say that Muslims are disproportionately prone to violence.

Damn near choked on my Mueslix reading that one…  Really?

I know the PC Patrol out there can feel their panties starting to ride up their hoo-hah from this revelation.  After all, not all Muslims are violent.  Most are downright fun-loving and peaceful folk.

It’s just that “disproportionately prone” thing….  Yeah, not all Muslims are terrorists.  But most terrorists are Muslim.  Sooner or later, people are gonna start to realize this.

(WaPo requires registration.  MSNBC has the same story here.)


Posted in FYI, Religion Of Peace | 1 Comment »

Madonna: Like A Robin

Posted by Chad on March 7, 2006

As if it couldn’t be more apropos, Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes is obsessed with gay people (thus reinforcing the argument that the fascination with all things homo just might be genetic).

Seems as though her daughter (who will occasionally travel under the alias “Wednesday Addams”) had informed Mommie Dearest that there’s talk going round of her being gay… ‘Cause of that pesky kiss between her and Mrs. Federline a couple years back.

While you gotta love Wednesday’s honesty and inquisitiveness, Madge opted to forego the explanation that “Mommy just needed a little more air-time”, and took the more… spiritual route:

…it just means I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her.

It would appear that the Kabbalah definition of cross-dressing-as-a-groom-so
pretty much boils down to simple energy transfer.


Unfortunately, after staring at this picture long enough, I think I discovered the inspiration for Madonna’s ethereal explanation….

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Gay Stuff, Random | 9 Comments »

Allah’s Preferred Method Of Delivery

Posted by Chad on March 6, 2006

Planes into buildings.  Bombs onto buses.  More bombs onto trains.  And now SUVs through college quads.

The whack job behind the wheel this time says he was, “thankful for the opportunity to spread the will of Allah.

What happened to the days when Allah’s will could just be sent via one of those emails with some dancing gerbils on it?  Or maybe a Hallmark card with an exorbitant amount of heart shaped confetti?  Maybe just a simple handshake even?

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Allah’s will wasn’t so much to spread the word of the Religion of Peace, but to maybe… oh, I don’t know… kill people.

Earth-shattering news, I know.  But if that wasn’t bad enough, this line from 22 year old junior, Khurram Bilal Tariq takes the crazy and kicks it up a notch, Emeril style:

When you think in terms of a global context, this was an isolated incident.

Uhhhhmmm, actually no, Khurram.  Lay down, flip it, and reverse it… you might be on to something.  If you look at this in a local context, it’s an isolated incident (unless SUVs careening through college campuses with the intent to mow down and kill students is an everyday thing down in North Carolina).  When looked at globally, it seems to almost fit a pattern radical Muslim violence.

:::Pats Tariq’s back:::

Good to see that college education workin’ out for you though.  Thanks for playin’.

PS – Any takers on a bet to see how long it’ll be before leaders of the moderate and traditional Muslim community denounce this?

Posted in Religion Of Peace | 2 Comments »