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Archive for the ‘Lapses In Judgement’ Category

What Would The 9th U.S. Circuit Court Of Appeals Do?

Posted by Chad on March 15, 2006

Our friends in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the 2002 suspension of an Alaskan high school student who unfurled a banner proclaiming “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” in an attempt to get on television during the relay of the Olympic torch.

… the banner was protected speech because it did not disrupt school activity and was displayed off school grounds during a noncurricular activity.

Fair enough. Free speech and all that good stuff. I’ll look past the fact that the kid was talking about smoking pot (which, at last count, was illegal) for Jesus (a figure most people in this country care a bit about). It was after all just words. No actual harm done. So, for the first time in the history of ever, I actually tend to agree with the decision.

But, given the current climate of religious sensitivities, let’s play a little game of “what if” and then you, my dear reader, can postulate on whether our beloved court would’ve ruled the same. For this game, I need one illegal activity and one religious figure for a banner I will display during the groundbraking of the 9/11 memorial in an attempt to get on Fox 5 so I can shoot the shit with Ernie Anastos.

Hmmm…. How ’bout:

“Planes Into Tall Buildings 4 Allah”…. Maybe a bit too close to home.

“C4 In Baby Strollers 4 Mohammed”?

I don’t know… I’m not good with words. Or using numbers in place of words 2 save space.

Would the free speech thing still apply? I’m really not hurting anyone. I mean, at least with my banners, you can do some fact checking to see if they’re accurate. I don’t think we have any real way of knowing how many bowls JC toked on, if any.

Just sayin’.


Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random, Satire | 2 Comments »

Desperate Indeed

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

Can someone please explain this pairing to me?


No…. Not Nicollette’s fun-pillows. (I believe their existence is fully understood.) I’m talking about that cat standing next to her. The one that sang some songs back in the 90s which made middle-aged mothers throughout the country do things that are too disgusting for me to even think of, let alone type.

Fame apparently does effect the the psyche.

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random | 2 Comments »

Shady Acres

Posted by Chad on February 22, 2006

There’s probably a ton of information that I’m not “up on” concerning the recent proposal for Dubai World Ports to take over operation of terminals here in NYC and Jersey, but what I have read about the deal isn’t putting me at ease. Two things in particular bother me:

1. Homeland Security says that the security issue will remain in the hands of the US. Well zip-a-dee-doo-dah. Forgive me, but it’s hard for me to do the PC thing and not “profile” the UAE in this situation. I’d love to be able to give them the benefit of the doubt, but at this point in time I just can’t. Maybe the nation as a whole has our best interests in mind, and that would be swell. But it takes just one person – one employee at the docks who knows what security looks for and what they don’t – to really fuck up my day. Call me crazy if I’d rather have this job in the hands of the Brits than in the hands of a country that funded most of the 9/11 hijackers.

2. Why is Bush taking such a staunch stance on this? He has yet to veto anything in his presidency and yet he feels this port deal is worth exercising that option? Even after apparently being unaware of the deal to begin with?? Why is this all of a sudden the issue to illustrate how inclusive we are of the Middle East? And why is the UAE not being held to the same requirements that every other foreign company operating US ports are held to?

One of the main reasons I voted for Bush in ’04 was his position on national security and the War on Terror. But this whole thing is starting to shake my faith in the man. If he wasn’t even aware of the deal until after it was made, how can he be sure (so sure that he’s willing to veto any attempt to scuttle it) that it will in no way jeopardize the safety of these ports?

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, National Security | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Chad on February 22, 2006

That’s what one trip to Duane Reade cost me today…. Normally, I go there to pick up one or two items – maybe some Advil, maybe some toothpaste. But not on this day.

Today, I went with a mission. A purpose. It was a decision that I struggled with internally for a week or so. Do I or don’t I? So many people who I respect have expressed their contempt for what I wanted to purchase. Yet, regardless, today, at noon, I decided “I do”.


I went out and bought the damn Fusion. And a damn 4-pack of cartridges. To the tune of $23.28. Plus tax.

To justify the trip as something I needed to do (and not something I did just for this one item that in all honesty I didn’t need in the first place), I picked up various other things: shampoo and conditioner, soap, some smokes…. Fourty-four twenty-one.

So a big YOU’RE WELCOME goes out in advance to the Gillette Marketing team. Ya’ got me. Job well done, you sonsuhbitches.

I swear to God On High that this shave had better be above and beyond a night alone with a drunk and uninhibited Jeremy Bloom.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Lapses In Judgement | 10 Comments »