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Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

What Would The 9th U.S. Circuit Court Of Appeals Do?

Posted by Chad on March 15, 2006

Our friends in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the 2002 suspension of an Alaskan high school student who unfurled a banner proclaiming “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” in an attempt to get on television during the relay of the Olympic torch.

… the banner was protected speech because it did not disrupt school activity and was displayed off school grounds during a noncurricular activity.

Fair enough. Free speech and all that good stuff. I’ll look past the fact that the kid was talking about smoking pot (which, at last count, was illegal) for Jesus (a figure most people in this country care a bit about). It was after all just words. No actual harm done. So, for the first time in the history of ever, I actually tend to agree with the decision.

But, given the current climate of religious sensitivities, let’s play a little game of “what if” and then you, my dear reader, can postulate on whether our beloved court would’ve ruled the same. For this game, I need one illegal activity and one religious figure for a banner I will display during the groundbraking of the 9/11 memorial in an attempt to get on Fox 5 so I can shoot the shit with Ernie Anastos.

Hmmm…. How ’bout:

“Planes Into Tall Buildings 4 Allah”…. Maybe a bit too close to home.

“C4 In Baby Strollers 4 Mohammed”?

I don’t know… I’m not good with words. Or using numbers in place of words 2 save space.

Would the free speech thing still apply? I’m really not hurting anyone. I mean, at least with my banners, you can do some fact checking to see if they’re accurate. I don’t think we have any real way of knowing how many bowls JC toked on, if any.

Just sayin’.

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random, Satire | 2 Comments »

Kick-Ass Lightsaber Duel

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

Home-made.  And better than Episodes I and II combined.

Thanks to Ace for the chub.

Posted in Random | Leave a Comment »

Desperate Indeed

Posted by Chad on March 14, 2006

Can someone please explain this pairing to me?

sheridanbolton.jpg

No…. Not Nicollette’s fun-pillows. (I believe their existence is fully understood.) I’m talking about that cat standing next to her. The one that sang some songs back in the 90s which made middle-aged mothers throughout the country do things that are too disgusting for me to even think of, let alone type.

Fame apparently does effect the the psyche.

Posted in Lapses In Judgement, Random | 2 Comments »

Some People Have All The Luck

Posted by Chad on March 13, 2006

I get sewage in my basement.  This chick gets beer from her kitchen faucet.

It’s just not right….

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »

Madonna: Like A Robin

Posted by Chad on March 7, 2006

As if it couldn’t be more apropos, Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes is obsessed with gay people (thus reinforcing the argument that the fascination with all things homo just might be genetic).

Seems as though her daughter (who will occasionally travel under the alias “Wednesday Addams”) had informed Mommie Dearest that there’s talk going round of her being gay… ‘Cause of that pesky kiss between her and Mrs. Federline a couple years back.

While you gotta love Wednesday’s honesty and inquisitiveness, Madge opted to forego the explanation that “Mommy just needed a little more air-time”, and took the more… spiritual route:

…it just means I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her.

It would appear that the Kabbalah definition of cross-dressing-as-a-groom-so
-you-can-make-out-with-the-reigning-pop-princess-on-national-television
pretty much boils down to simple energy transfer.

britmadge.jpg

Unfortunately, after staring at this picture long enough, I think I discovered the inspiration for Madonna’s ethereal explanation….

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Gay Stuff, Random | 9 Comments »

Your Hymen’s Been Removed?

Posted by Chad on February 28, 2006

No problem.

So many new, disturbing, and somewhat frightening words in that article…. “Hymenoplasty“.  “Revirginised“.  “Designer vagina“.

Question for my straight reader (yeah, I’m talkin’ to you Wookie).  Is the desire in a hetersexual man to de-flower your girlfriend/wife so strong that you would want her to go through this procedure just so you could stake claim to her “virginity”?

Question for my female reader (I’m not sure I have one).  Is this something you would do for your boyfriend/husband?

Get… “revirginised”?

Thanks to Dave over at The Ridge.

Posted in Random | 9 Comments »

Bored At Work?

Posted by Chad on February 27, 2006

This here is probably the most infuriatingly addictive thing I’ve come across in quite some time.  Yeah, it’s as visually stunning as Pong, but… damn. 

Just.  Cannot.  Stop.

Time to beat: 22.037 seconds. 

… Whaddya’ got folks?

Posted in Random | 5 Comments »

Right There With Ya’ Rove

Posted by Chad on February 27, 2006

Hillary! has a stalker, everyone.  Apparently, when not plotting meteorological courses for Category 5 hurricanes and tossing friends of the veep into his line of fire, Rove “obsesses” about Ms. Clinton.

Honestly though….  Who doesn’t?

My own personal fantasy with the Hillmeister involves a ball-gag, a couple whips, some blindfolds, a pair of 2x4s, 3-day old oatmeal, a litter of kittens, and a pressurized water hose (the kind used for cleaning siding).

Yeah… you know what I’m talkin’ about.

Posted in Humor, Loony Left, Random | Leave a Comment »

Ballistic 2: Mom vs. Polar Bear

Posted by Chad on February 24, 2006

Just one of those stories that is simultaneously brave, touching, and unbelievably stupid at the same time.  (Like Rose climbing out of the lifeboat to get back to Jack… but not really.)

… Then she started kicking and punching the animal, according to police reports.  In a flash, the bear swatted her in the face and she fell on her back. With the bear on top of her, Angyiou began kicking her legs in a bicycle-pedaling motion. She was swatted once more and rolled over, but the bear moved toward her again.

A mom you don’t want to F with.  … From Canada no less.

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »

Something Awful: Fashion SWAT – MySpace

Posted by Chad on February 19, 2006

Every now and then I enjoy hopping on over to Something Awful to see what the Fashion SWAT team of Zack and Dr. Thorpe are skewering.  This time around, I happened across their latest victims: MySpace.  Some of the images are a little too disturbing to have openly on the front page, so… click “more” at your own risk.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Humor, Random, Weather | 6 Comments »